Our Secrets and Lies Read online

  Lucy forced a smile. If Billy ever found out that his precious daughter was a stupid idiot who had got herself pregnant, he’d die of disappointment. Every time Lucy looked at her father, she knew she was making the right decision. Her mum would support her, no matter what, but Billy was so proud of having a daughter in college and doing law that he almost burst every time he told someone.

  She hated lying to them and keeping secrets. She’d never had to before. She had always had a brilliant relationship with her parents, which was why she found Tom and Gabriel’s so odd and sad. Her parents had always supported her and cheered her on. Granted she’d been an A student who’d never given them anything to worry about … until now.

  She couldn’t wait for the abortion to be over. She’d bury the secret deep inside and forget it ever happened. Lucy was not going to let this bump in the road ruin her plan to graduate first in her class and work for the top law firm in Ireland. She planned to be a partner by the time she was thirty. She had it all mapped out and secretly she hoped that maybe Tom would be by her side in work and life.

  Lucy poured herself a glass of orange juice. ‘Me and Jenny are different, Dad. She’s not as into studying as I was. Maybe you’re putting a bit too much pressure on her.’

  ‘Pressure?’ Billy waved a wooden spoon in the air. ‘She’s lazy, that’s what she is, and I won’t have it. Now, enough about her, it’s bad for my blood pressure. What do you fancy for breakfast? I’m making scrambled egg.’

  Lucy felt bile rise in her throat. ‘I’m actually not that hungry. I think I’ll just have toast. Where’s Mum?’

  ‘She’s in the shop.’

  Billy spooned some of his egg onto a plate and sat down opposite Lucy. ‘So you’re off on a class trip for a few days tomorrow?’

  Lucy nodded, keeping her head down so as not to be caught blushing. She’d always been a terrible liar. Jenny was a lot smoother at it. ‘I’m heading early in the morning and I’ll be back on Sunday night.’

  ‘Is it all people from your law class?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Isn’t it great you’ve made such good friends? Is that fella you’re seeing going?’

  ‘No,’ Lucy lied. ‘Just girls.’

  ‘Good. I wouldn’t want some fella trying to take advantage of you. You’re a lovely girl with a brilliant future ahead of you. Don’t get distracted by fellas or any of that other stuff,’ Billy said.

  Lucy nibbled her toast, saying nothing.

  ‘Mind you, it’s not you I’ve to worry about, it’s that lunatic sister of yours. She needs to be reined in. She’s kicking up a storm about some party she wants to go to.’

  Lucy looked up. ‘Maybe you should let her go, Dad.’

  ‘No feckin’ way. Her report was a disaster.’

  ‘I know, but locking her up isn’t the answer. She’ll make your life hell. Why don’t you use it as a bargaining tool? Tell her she can go if she studies for three hours every day of the last week of the holidays.’

  Billy sat back and pointed his fork at his daughter. ‘Now that is a brilliant idea. You’re some girl, Lucy, honestly, not only smart but sensible too.’

  ‘Aw, shucks! Well, if you say so …’ She grinned. It was nice to have her dad’s praise. She felt so bad about her mistake, and she was so worried about Tom and the abortion that it was soothing to let her father’s love wash over her.

  Tina walked through from the shop. ‘Billy, Mr O’Brien is here with the deliveries. He needs a hand.’

  ‘That fella’s as useless as the day he was born,’ Billy muttered, but stood up and went through to the shop.

  Tina closed the door and sat down at the kitchen table. She picked up Billy’s half-drunk coffee and finished it. ‘Well, pet,’ she said, looking at Lucy. ‘What’s going on with you?’

  Lucy reddened. ‘Nothing.’

  Her mother sighed. ‘Lucy, I know you. Something’s been bothering you for a while. Talk to me.’

  Lucy felt herself crack. She longed to throw herself into her mother’s arms and tell her everything. She dug her nails into her thighs to stop herself doing just that. She would not burden her mother with this when there was no need. In three days she’d be back to her old self. She lied, but kept it close to the truth. ‘I’m fine, Mum. I just … I’ve just had a problem with Tom, but it’s sorted, honestly. It’s all going to be fine.’

  ‘All right, Lucy, but I want you to know that, whatever it is, I’m here for you. I love you and I’ll always support you, no matter what. Okay?’

  Lucy nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She jumped up to put her glass and plate into the dishwasher, then scurried out of the room. If she didn’t get out of there, her mother’s kindness would break her wide open.

  4

  Lucy glanced at her watch. It was ten past four. Where was Tom? From her seat in the window of the Little Spoon she could see people rushing up and down the road, dodging the winter rain.

  A shadow fell across the table. She looked up. It was Damien, her classmate from law. ‘Hi,’ she said.

  ‘Hi.’ He took off his coat and sat down beside her at the small table. ‘Can I get you another coffee?’

  ‘Uhm, well, I’m actually meeting Tom now so …’ Lucy didn’t want to be rude, but she needed him to leave so she and Tom were free to talk. Besides, Tom didn’t like Damien. He thought he was a boring geek, as did most of the class. Damien was super-bright: he’d come second in the class, just behind Lucy, last year. He’d always been really nice to her. Tom said it was because he had a crush on her and she kind of knew that was true, but she didn’t find him attractive. He wasn’t good-looking but neither was he bad-looking, he just wasn’t her type. He was too intense.

  Damien shook his head. ‘Tom can’t make it. He asked me to give you this.’

  Lucy frowned. What was he talking about? ‘What?’

  ‘I’m as surprised as you. Tom barely speaks to me. But I found it pushed under the door of my rooms when I woke up this morning and figured it was important to you. Look.’ Damien handed her a note in Tom’s handwriting:

  Damien, I’m due to meet Lucy at 4 p.m. in the Little Spoon. Can you please go and give her this note? It’s REALLY important. I can’t make it because of my dad. Long story. But can you please make sure she gets this note? She’ll be waiting for me. Thanks, Tom.

  Lucy took the envelope from Damien’s outstretched hand. She opened it and pulled out a note.

  Don’t hate me, Dad has locked me up. I can’t go with you, he won’t let me. He promised me it’s all organized – a driver will pick you up in London and drive you to the clinic. You’ll be staying overnight in a hotel and then a car will pick you up and drive you back to the airport. I’m so sorry, Lucy. I’ve spent two days fighting with him but he won’t let me go. I’ll be waiting for you at the airport when you get back and I’ll be by your side after, I promise. I just can’t go to London. I’m so sorry. I love you. Tom

  A sob escaped her. Damien reached over. ‘Hey, are you okay? Is it bad news? What did he say?’

  Lucy bit down hard on her lip. How could she explain to Damien that her boyfriend had just left her to abort their baby alone? How could he do that? How could he let his father walk all over him?

  ‘Lucy, talk to me. Please.’

  Lucy found her voice. She needed to take control of the situation. It wouldn’t help for Damien to find out. ‘It’s just a little issue Tom and I are having. It’ll sort itself out.’

  Damien looked worried. ‘Lucy, you’ve gone green. You’re the colour of an unripe banana. It’s clearly not a small issue. What’s going on? Maybe I can help. Is he treating you badly? You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, not upsets you.’

  Lucy put the envelope into her handbag. ‘It’s fine, Damien. Please just forget about it. Thanks for bringing me the note. It was important.’

  ‘Let me take you home at least. You really don’t look well.’

  Lucy fought back tears. ‘I really appre
ciate it, but honestly, I’m fine. I have to go.’ She pulled on her coat and turned to leave, then turned back to him and said, ‘Please don’t tell anyone about this. It’s kind of private. Tom shouldn’t have got you involved.’

  Damien shrugged. ‘You’re the only person in the class I really talk to, so your secret is safe with me.’

  Lucy smiled, then bent down and kissed his cheek. ‘Thanks, Damien. You’re a great friend.’

  Gabriel stood outside the grotty little coffee shop and peered in. He saw a young girl who fitted Tom’s description of Lucy. She was kissing another boy – clearly a girl who got about the place.

  Sighing, he threw open the door and strode over to the table. She was pretty enough, long brown hair, petite, but nothing special. Tom was an idiot. Evidently she saw his son as her ticket to the good life. Over my dead body, thought Gabriel.

  ‘Are you Lucy Murphy?’

  Lucy and Damien looked around. A tall, imposing man with grey hair and an expensive navy coat stood before them.

  ‘Yes, I’m Lucy.’

  She had rather striking brown eyes. They made her jump from average-looking to very pretty. That was what Tom must have fallen for, Gabriel thought.

  ‘I’m Tom’s father.’

  ‘You’re Gabriel Harrington-Black.’ Damien flushed. ‘It’s an honour to meet you, sir. I’m a fellow law student of Tom and Lucy’s. Damien, Damien O’Neill. Delighted to meet you. I’m a huge fan, the sentencing of –’

  Gabriel held up his hand. ‘Could you leave us, please? I have a matter I need to discuss with Miss Murphy.’

  ‘Right, of course, I’ll be off.’ Damien left quickly, looking utterly star-struck.

  Gabriel brushed Damien’s seat and sat down. ‘Is he another of your boyfriends?’

  Lucy felt herself blushing bright red. ‘Oh, gosh, no. He’s just a classmate. It’s very nice to meet you, sir.’ She proffered her hand, which Gabriel took and crushed in his own.

  Lucy pulled hers back. God, this was so awkward. She had no idea what to say.

  ‘I presume you know why I’m here?’ he asked.

  ‘Not really. I was expecting Tom.’

  ‘Yes, well, Tom won’t be coming. This is a most unfortunate business.’

  ‘I’m really sorry. It just … Well, we were careless that one time and I’m just sorry.’

  He glared at her. ‘It’s a little late for apologies.’ Fishing in the inside pocket of his coat, he produced a thick envelope. He handed it to Lucy. ‘Inside this envelope you will find a return ticket to London and an appointment at an excellent clinic.’

  ‘Thank you. I really appreciate you helping us out, it’s very decent of you. Tom and I are so grateful.’

  Gabriel’s lip curled into what was supposed to look like a smile. ‘Miss Murphy, people make mistakes and get themselves into hot spots. But there is always a solution. The key here is to have this mess sorted out quickly and discreetly so you can put it all behind you. Go to London, terminate this pregnancy and never speak of it again. Move on with your life. I hear you’re a bright girl, and no girl with an ounce of a brain wants to have a child while she’s in university. I also think you and Tom should stay away from each other, let things cool down a bit. I understand you’re in the same class, but in a group of eighty students I’m sure you can avoid him easily enough.’

  Lucy felt as if she’d been slapped. ‘What … what do you mean? Tom’s my boyfriend … We’re a couple.’

  Gabriel pursed his lips. ‘I strongly recommend a cooling-off period. Give each other some space to move on from this. Look, Tom is easily distracted and I didn’t spend a fortune on my son’s private education to have him do badly in university. Tom is a boy who needs to focus on his books to do well. I’ve told him that I want him to concentrate on one thing only this year, getting good results, which means he won’t have time for relationships.’

  ‘I won’t distract him, I promise. In fact, I’ll help him study. I love Tom and –’

  Gabriel’s hand curled into a fist on the table. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. This is a silly college romance that has gone very wrong and caused a lot of trouble. Now be sensible, forget about Tom, let him concentrate on his studies and you concentrate on yours.’

  Lucy swallowed hard. She had to make him see that this was love, real love. ‘I understand you’re upset about the mess we’ve got ourselves into, but we really do love each other, and I know it may sound silly but it’s very real, I promise you.’

  Gabriel stared coldly at her. ‘I have to get to court. Listen closely so there is no misunderstanding. I’m not asking you to stay away from Tom, I’m ordering you to.’ He stood up to leave.

  Lucy felt her shame and humiliation turn to anger. ‘I’m sorry, but I won’t.’

  ‘Excuse me?’

  ‘You heard me. I will not stop seeing Tom. I’m mad about him and he’s mad about me.’

  ‘Keep your voice down,’ he hissed. ‘I have just arranged for you to have the best medical care available. You should be on your knees thanking me, you ungrateful girl.’

  She put the envelope on the table. ‘Here, take it,’ she said, her voice shaking.

  Gabriel picked it up and handed it back to her. She refused it.

  ‘I’m not leaving until you guarantee that you will go through with this termination. I don’t want you changing your mind or trying to convince my son that having a child with you is a good idea. No stupid girl with loose morals is going to drag my son down.’

  The thought of keeping the baby had never entered Lucy’s mind. She couldn’t have a baby: she was only twenty-one. She’d have to drop out of college or defer, and all of her goals and plans would be changed.

  ‘I’m waiting.’ Gabriel held the envelope out to her.

  ‘No.’ Lucy was surprised to hear herself say it, but she suddenly felt filled with conviction.

  ‘No?’ Gabriel’s face went bright red.

  Lucy could see that he was shaken. The thought of her not getting rid of the baby was freaking him out. Good. She wanted to rattle him, the bastard. ‘If I decide to change my mind, that’s my prerogative.’

  Gabriel put the envelope on the table and said very quietly into her ear, ‘Do not cross me, or I promise you, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.’

  He turned and stalked out of the café, leaving the envelope on the table in front of Lucy.

  Lucy felt adrenalin pumping through her veins. She had stood up to him. She had rattled him, too. Good. Let him have a few sleepless nights wondering if she’d had the abortion or not. Of course she was going to have it, but it was nice to see him wrong-footed. What a bully. She felt sorry for Tom, growing up with him as a father. Although, she thought angrily, that didn’t excuse him abandoning her.

  The adrenalin soon drained out of her and Lucy felt really alone. Her hands were trembling as she put the envelope into her bag. She wanted to weep. She needed to talk to someone, to process what had just happened. She knew where she had to go.

  Lucy hurried past the shop, hoping her father wouldn’t see her through the window, and ran up the road to Sarah’s house. Her mind was spinning. Tom had said he loved her but he wasn’t coming with her. Then again, he had promised to be there for her afterwards. She was feeling so many different emotions and couldn’t make sense of anything.

  She went to the back door of Sarah’s house and found her friend in the kitchen. She could see Sarah’s mum through the glass door. She was, as usual, plonked in front of the TV, watching soap operas.

  Since Sarah’s dad had walked out all those years ago, Mrs Hannigan had become a very bitter woman. Between Sarah’s dad and Gabriel, Lucy felt incredibly lucky to have her lovely parents. Billy and Tina were worlds apart from Tom’s and Sarah’s.

  ‘Oh, my God!’ Sarah exclaimed. ‘You look awful. What happened?’

  ‘Can we go to your room? I need to talk to you,’ Lucy said, fighting back tears.

  Sarah ushered her upstairs and locked her
bedroom door behind them. ‘Okay, tell me what’s happened.’

  ‘God, it’s a mess.’ Lucy collapsed onto the bed, crying. When she’d calmed down enough to talk, she filled Sarah in on the whole encounter.

  ‘What?’ Sarah was in shock. ‘He actually came in and threatened you and basically called you a slut? Oh, my God, what a psycho.’

  ‘It was awful, Sarah. He’s so intimidating. I was actually really scared.’

  ‘Yeah, but you stood up to him, which is more than Tom did.’

  ‘I know, but I kind of understand Tom more now. If I’d grown up with Gabriel as a dad, I might not stand up to him. He’s a bully to the core. And Tom really did want to come with me.’ Lucy wanted to defend him. She wanted to think well of him, although it was hard right now.

  ‘So why doesn’t he?’ Sarah asked.

  ‘Well, when Tom told his dad, Gabriel totally freaked out and said he’d pay for me to have proper medical care because he wants to make sure I don’t die or get an infection, but he ordered Tom to stay at home. He’s kind of locked him up since he found out. But Tom said he’d collect me from the airport when I get back.’

  Sarah felt her blood boiling. Collect her from the airport? Big bloody deal. Was this guy for real? Sarah looked at Lucy, her lovely friend. Lucy, the strong, brilliant, determined one, the one who never put a foot wrong. The girl everyone in the neighbourhood knew as Lucy Murphy, the straight-A student. The Lucy Sarah was facing now looked shattered, frightened and alone. Sarah wanted to hunt Tom down and kill him.

  She had to be honest with her friend. ‘Lucy, it’s not fair for you to go on your own. It’s not right. Tom should be with you.’ She thought he was a spineless git for saying he couldn’t go. What kind of bullshit excuse was My dad won’t let me?

  Sarah knew that Darren would never let her have an abortion on her own. He’d be there, holding her hand all the way. Darren was her rock. He’d never let her down. Lucy deserved better than this. But Sarah didn’t want to upset her friend any more than she already was.