The Way We Are Read online

  Sinéad Moriarty

  * * *

  THE WAY WE ARE

  Contents

  London, 14 February 2012

  Chapter 1: Alice

  Chapter 2: Ben

  Chapter 3: Holly

  Chapter 4: Alice

  Chapter 5: Ben

  Chapter 6: Holly

  Chapter 7: Alice

  Follow Penguin

  LONDON, 14 FEBRUARY 2012

  * * *

  Chapter 1

  Alice

  Alice was drinking her coffee when the bell rang. She stood up to answer it as her daughter thundered down the stairs. Jools got there first and flung open the door. ‘For me!’

  ‘Popular lady.’ The postman winked at her.

  ‘Thanks!’ Jools was clutching two enormous cards and three smaller ones.

  Alice smiled. ‘Someone’s got a lot of admirers.’

  Jools swept past her into the kitchen. ‘What can I say? I’m a boy magnet.’

  She was stunning – heads turned wherever she went – but it worried Alice, who wanted her to focus more on her books and less on her looks.

  Jools ripped open one of the big envelopes. ‘ “Roses are red, Violets are blue, You’re so hot, Jools, And you know it too.” So lame.’ She cast it aside.

  Alice sighed. Hot? Why did teenagers have to go on about being ‘hot’ all the time? Why couldn’t they play hockey and tennis and have the odd kiss? Why did it all have to be tiny skirts and innuendo? She didn’t think Jools was having sex – in fact, she was pretty confident she wasn’t – but, all the same, she watched her like a hawk. Alice was a GP and often had young girls in her clinic, looking for the pill, asking for advice on abortion or having contracted sexually transmitted diseases.

  ‘Oh, puh-lease.’ Jools snorted. ‘Xavier actually signed this card. He clearly doesn’t get the whole anomynous thing.’

  ‘Anonymous,’ Holly said, as she walked into the kitchen, knotting her tie.

  ‘That’s what I said, dork.’

  ‘Actually –’

  ‘Holly, why don’t you have some breakfast?’ Alice interrupted her younger daughter, before an argument broke out.

  ‘I see no cards arrived for you,’ Jools said.

  ‘Actually, one just did.’ Ben came in, handed Holly a card and gave her a peck on the cheek.

  ‘God, Dad, you’re so embarrassing. She knows it’s from you. You didn’t even disguise your writing.’

  He grinned. ‘Holly’s ten, Jools, far too young to be getting cards from boys.’

  Holly opened the envelope. ‘Thanks, Daddy. I’m glad it’s from you.’

  The doorbell rang again.

  ‘I’ll get it.’ Jools raced out. A minute later she was back, holding an enormous bouquet of red heart balloons.

  ‘Wow!’ Ben exclaimed.

  Alice remembered when he had bought her some, shortly after Jools was born – she must have been four months old. He’d come in with the balloons, kissed her and told her she was the most wonderful woman in the world.

  She couldn’t remember the last time he’d bought her balloons or flowers. They’d got a bit lazy. She hadn’t even got him a card for today. It was time they started making more of an effort with each other. At least they were going for dinner tonight with David and Pippa, which would be nice. They hadn’t seen them in ages and they always had fun together. She and Ben hadn’t been out in a while. They used to do that ‘date night’ thing, setting aside one evening a week, but somehow that had fallen by the wayside, too. They were both so busy all the time.

  ‘Who are they from?’ Holly asked.

  Jools read the card and rolled her eyes. ‘Francis – he’s so desperate. I’ve told him a million times I wouldn’t go out with him if he was the last boy on Earth but he never gives up.’

  ‘Is that Francis Penworth?’ Holly looked impressed.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Oh, my God, Jools.’

  ‘Who is he?’ Alice was interested now.

  ‘He’s the British junior chess champion.’ Holly was plainly in awe.

  ‘Impressive,’ Ben said. ‘He sounds like the type of boy you should go out with.’

  ‘And die of boredom? I don’t think so. He actually plays chess for, like, five hours a day – volunteeringly.’ Jools shook her head. ‘Who does that? Only a huge nerd.’

  Holly clanked her spoon into her cereal bowl. ‘He’s not a nerd, just a total genius. He’s amazing, Jools.’

  ‘Pushing little pretend horses and prawns around a stupid board for hours every day is not something normal people do.’

  ‘Pawns. And he’s going to be famous. They’re saying he could end up being a chess grand master.’

  ‘Whatever, Holly. He was showing me some “amazing move” last week and I almost went into a coma.’

  ‘Maybe if you went out with him, you’d learn a thing or two,’ Alice said.

  ‘And maybe I’d end up the biggest loser in school. No, thanks.’

  When Jools went off to put on her uniform, Holly looked at the balloons and sighed. ‘I wish he was in my class. There are so many questions I’d like to ask him.’

  ‘Maybe Jools could introduce you,’ Alice suggested.

  Holly coloured. ‘He’s far too cool for me.’

  Ben put down his coffee cup. ‘He’s not cool enough for one daughter and too cool for the other. What are you girls like?’

  Alice tidied up and called Jools to hurry. Ben picked up his kit bag. ‘I’ll see you later. I’m going for a cycle after work. I should be home by seven thirty, quick shower, then off to David and Pippa.’

  Irritation shot through Alice. ‘Couldn’t you just skip the cycle today? I’ve got back-to-back patients and I’d really like you to help Jools with her homework. I’ve done it every night for the last three weeks and I’m afraid I might kill her. You should have seen her book review.’

  Holly started to giggle.

  ‘Don’t laugh – it’s not nice.’

  ‘But, Mummy, it was hilarious.’

  ‘Show me,’ Ben said.

  Alice looked over her shoulder, but she could hear music thumping from Jools’s room. She reached down and pulled Jools’s review of Jane Eyre from her school bag.

  Ben opened it and read:

  In my opinion Jane Eyre is a complete loser. Why would anyone want to end up with a blind man with no money? I kind of get why she fell for him in the beginning, because he was all handsome and strong. But when she saw the lunatic up in the attic and found out he’d been lying to her the whole time, she should never have come back. He wasn’t exactly great fun before the crazy woman burned his house down and he went blind, but can you imagine how grumpy and depressed he’s going to be now? What kind of a life is she going to have? It’s crazy. She should have gone off and met someone else, someone who was normal and didn’t have a lunatic in his attic and didn’t lie about being married. Mind you, she was ugly and boring, so I suppose she didn’t have much choice. Still, there must be better out there than blind and poor.

  He threw back his head and laughed. ‘You have to hand it to her, she makes a good case.’

  ‘Not sure it’ll get her a good grade, though,’ Alice said.

  ‘She’ll be fine. Stop worrying about her. I’d better go – I’m in theatre at nine. See you later.’

  With that, he dashed off to work and Alice hurried the girls out to school.

  When Alice arrived at the clinic, Kevin was waiting for her with the kettle boiling.

  ‘Morning,’ she said, putting her bag on her desk.

  ‘Valentine’s my arse. Not one bloody card.’ Kevin sighed.

  Alice made a sympathetic face. ‘Sorry about that. Maybe there’s one in the post and you’ll get it
tomorrow.’

  Kevin sighed again, louder. ‘Nice try, but no. I hoped Robert might get in touch, but he obviously meant what he said when he told me it was over. For good.’

  Alice patted her brother’s arm. He had gone out with Robert for five months, which was an eternity for Kevin. Alice had never liked him: he was twenty-five, ten years younger than Kevin, and insisted on having an ‘open’ relationship where he got to have sex with other guys while Kevin waited for him at home. Alice knew that all Kevin wanted was to meet a nice guy and settle down, but he went for flighty, selfish, younger men, who didn’t want to be stuck in a monogamous relationship. She wished more than anything that he could meet someone who deserved him.

  ‘If it’s any consolation, I didn’t get a card either. And I didn’t buy one for Ben.’

  Kevin handed his sister a coffee. ‘You shouldn’t get lazy in your marriage. It’s dangerous.’

  ‘Well, Ben did get a card for Holly, which was nice.’

  Kevin sipped his coffee. ‘I bet Jools got loads.’

  ‘She was inundated with cards and balloons.’

  ‘I’d guess she doesn’t fancy any of the senders.’ Kevin grinned.

  ‘Of course not. She’s unbelievable.’

  ‘She’s a beautiful girl with a great personality. Guys are always going to fall at her feet.’

  ‘Yes, but she needs to focus less on pouting and preening and more on her books. She’s falling behind, Kevin.’

  Kevin waved a hand in the air. ‘I wasn’t academic either. We can’t all be like you, Ben and Holly. Jools is different. Accept her for who she is.’

  Alice did accept her elder daughter for who she was, but she didn’t want her to be the only one who didn’t go to college and experience all that it had to offer. ‘Do you think she’s having sex? Has she said anything to you?’

  ‘No,’ Kevin said. ‘But then again, while she does tell me some things, I doubt she’s going to tell me that. But her self-esteem is high. Jools would only have sex if she really wanted to or really liked the guy, and her head hasn’t been turned yet.’

  ‘True, but the girls coming in here looking for the pill are getting younger.’

  ‘Speaking of, Sharon’s your first appointment today.’

  Alice groaned. Sharon was a fifteen-year-old who had got pregnant twice and had two abortions. She’d ended up with a nasty infection after the last one and Alice had tried to talk to her about the importance of protecting herself.

  ‘I ain’t going on no pill. They make you fat, innit?’ Sharon had snapped.

  When Alice suggested she use condoms, Sharon had refused. ‘I don’t like ’em and the fellas prefer it natural.’

  Alice worried about her and the many other teenagers who came through her surgery. For a youth that considered itself to be so savvy and ‘with it’, they were clueless. She’d have to sit Jools down for another chat. She wanted to make sure her daughter understood the pitfalls of unprotected sex.

  Kevin went through the day’s list of patients. It was long and she would be busy. She was so glad Kevin had agreed to be her clinic manager – he’d proved a godsend. Working with him had made things much easier: he never overbooked her and he was great with the patients, cheering them up when they came in and managing the difficult ones with humour.

  ‘I need to be out of here by five thirty to give me time to go home, cook the girls’ dinner and help with homework, then get ready for a gorgeous evening at David and Pippa’s. Thanks again for agreeing to stay in with the girls.’

  ‘Any time. How are David and Pippa anyway? You haven’t mentioned them in ages.’

  ‘Because we haven’t seen them in ages. Well, Ben has seen David now and then, but Pippa has cancelled on me a few times. To be honest, I wondered if she was sick or something. I got Ben to ask David but he said she’s fine, just busy.’

  Kevin laughed. ‘Pippa, busy? With all those staff and her only child in boarding-school, how busy can she be?’

  Alice shrugged. ‘It’s odd, though, very unlike her. Anyway, if something is up, I guess I’ll find out tonight.’

  ‘Sounds intriguing,’ Kevin said, raising an eyebrow. ‘Do you think she’s having a torrid affair with the chauffeur, maybe, like Lady Sybil?’

  Alice laughed. ‘It’s not Downton Abbey. Besides, Pippa would never cheat on David.’

  ‘Well, if there is something going on,’ Kevin said, ‘I’ll be dying to hear about it. You can give me all the details when you get home.’

  ‘Maybe she finds me boring,’ Alice said, with a sigh. ‘I used to be a lot more fun when she first knew me. I’m getting a bit middle-aged in my middle age.’

  Kevin grinned. ‘You needn’t pull that one with me. There’s still fire underneath that navy trouser suit.’

  Alice giggled. ‘It’s deeply buried at the moment,’ she told him. ‘Right, let’s get this place tidied up. First patient in five minutes. Just eight and a half hours to go, then hopefully a bit of fun.’

  Chapter 2

  Ben

  Ben tried not to notice the long legs and short skirt of the patient seated in front of him. On the other side of the desk in his consulting room, Diana Lacey leant forward, giving him a bird’s-eye view of her considerable cleavage.

  Ben smiled inwardly. He had never fallen into the ‘sex with patient’ trap and he wasn’t about to start now. Mind you, he knew quite a few colleagues who had. They regaled him with stories of sex over the desk and trysts during ‘examinations’. He’d never been tempted. Well, if he was being honest, he had, but he always reminded himself that what he had with Alice and the girls was worth more than any meaningless sex.

  Alice had been propositioned once or twice too, and they’d laughed about it. She’d told him so that he’d know he wasn’t the only one to have patients who fancied him. Alice kept him on his toes. He liked that about her.

  ‘So, Ben, do you think I’ve fully recovered?’ Diana asked.

  ‘Absolutely. Your results are all extremely satisfactory. You can get back to normal life now.’

  ‘Good.’ She smiled. ‘I don’t know how I’m ever going to thank you.’ She stared at him. ‘If there was anything you could think of, I’d be happy to oblige.’ She winked.

  Ben stood up and held out his hand. ‘Not at all. I’m just doing my job. Take care now.’

  Pouting, Diana shook his hand and turned on her heels. Ben watched her go. She had a great body . . .

  His fantasy was interrupted by his secretary, Anna, announcing the next patient. Ben looked at his charts, only three more to see. He was itching to get on his bike and go cycling. It would calm him down.

  Ninety minutes later he saw off the last patient, checked the following day’s schedule with Anna, then strode down the corridor towards the locker room. He pulled off his suit and tie and quickly got into his Lycra cycling gear – the cause of much merriment to his wife and daughters. The first time he’d walked into the house wearing it, Jools had laughed so hard she’d had to sit down. ‘Dad, you look like a midlife crisis on legs,’ she’d hooted, which had hurt a bit.

  Secretly, Ben felt proud of how his body looked in the tight gear. He knew so many men with bellies, but he was careful about his weight, still slim and lean.

  Once on the bike, he felt right in himself. He left the hospital, pedalling fast, keeping up a strong pace. Alice didn’t understand his recent attachment to cycling, but he needed it. Ben didn’t understand it himself: he’d never enjoyed cycling in his youth, but he was addicted to it now.

  He couldn’t explain it to anyone, least of all Alice, but these past few months he had felt restlessness setting in. It wasn’t that he was unhappy with his lot, but he’d suddenly found himself wondering if this was it. He’d be forty-five soon, well over halfway through his life, if he was lucky. He was at the peak of his career but he felt unchallenged. He operated every week, but he seemed forever to be performing appendectomies and hernia repairs. He wanted to push himself, do more . .
. but what?

  He had a great life with Alice and the girls. He earned good money and was a well-respected general surgeon, but the excitement of surgery had faded. The thrill of helping someone recover was still significant, but . . .

  As a young medical student he had dreamt of performing cutting-edge surgeries on a daily basis. He longed to experience the adrenalin rush of saving lives. A couple of years back he had toyed with the idea of moving to the US for a while, but Alice had talked him out of it. ‘Ben, the girls are so happy in school and my clinic is thriving. It took me a long time to build it up,’ she had said. ‘Moving us all to the US for a couple of years would be a huge upheaval, and for what? What are you really going to gain?’

  She was right: it would have been a big move for the girls and a huge sacrifice for her to move to the US when, really, it would just have been for Ben to scratch an itch. Perhaps he would have got more experience there, but there was plenty of experience to be had here in the UK.

  He had been happy with the decision not to go and had settled back to work feeling happier about things. But lately that restlessness had come back again, more intense this time. He knew it was related to the conversation he’d had with Oliver.

  Two weeks ago he’d been having coffee with a fellow surgeon, Oliver Kane, who had just come back from Syria where he’d volunteered with Médecins sans Frontières, positively brimming with energy and passion. The trip, while dangerous, had clearly given him a huge boost. He gushed about the high of operating while bombs were falling around you, saving lives in completely chaotic conditions, having to think on your feet and be creative with very basic surgical tools. Ben had felt envious. He’d wondered if that was something he could do. He was very tempted, but would it be fair to Alice and the girls?

  He’d discussed it with David over lunch a few days later.

  ‘Are you mad?’ David’s fork hung in the air. ‘Syria? Do you have any idea how dangerous it is? Dear Lord, Ben, you have a family. Buy a sports car or a motorbike if you’re feeling the need for a change but, for the love of God, do not sign up for some impulsive trip to Syria.’