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The Way We Were Page 6
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She had tried not to show any emotion because she didn’t want the girls to worry. Well, Alice doubted Jools would even notice she was worried, but Holly would. Holly was a terrible worrier. Alice often wondered if that was why Holly was so studious. Reading and working out facts and figures seemed to calm her down. Alice found herself wishing she had such an effective coping mechanism. As it was, she thought about Ben constantly and couldn’t shake the anxiety that had settled on her.
When Alice arrived at work on Friday morning, Kevin was waiting for her. He followed her into her room, handed her a strong coffee and closed the door.
‘Brace yourself, we have thirty patients in today.’
Alice sighed. She hadn’t slept well and she had been hoping for an easy schedule. Today all she wanted was someone to hold her hand and reassure her that Ben was all right. ‘Who’s first?’ she said as she sipped her coffee.
‘A new one. Miranda Langton refused to say what it was for. She said it was private and she wasn’t going to discuss it with “the receptionist”.’
‘Yikes! Well, don’t scratch her eyes out when she comes in.’
Kevin turned on his heel and, waving an arm in the air, said, ‘Maybe just a little scratch.’
When Kevin brought Miranda in ten minutes later, he introduced her: ‘Dr Gregory, this is Miranda Langton, date of birth July the eighth nineteen fifty-seven.’
‘What?’ spluttered Miranda.
‘Sorry?’ Kevin looked the picture of innocence.
‘Excuse me, I was born in nineteen sixty-seven.’
‘Oh, really?’ Kevin raised his eyebrows in surprise. ‘So you’re not fifty-five, then?’
‘Certainly not,’ Miranda said, unable to look furious because of all the Botox she’d had.
‘Wow.’ Kevin tilted his head and winked at Alice, who suppressed a smile as her brother took himself and his revenge out of the room.
After back-to-back appointments all morning, Alice had a twenty-minute lunch break and tried repeatedly to call Ben. Once again his mobile went straight into voice-mail. She left another message: ‘Ben, call me. I’m getting worried. I need to know that you’re okay. Call me, please. I miss you.’
Kevin came in and handed her a latte from the coffee shop next door. ‘Any word from Eritrea yet?’ he asked.
Alice shook her head.
‘He’ll be fine,’ Kevin said, picking at a salad. ‘He’s probably up the side of a mountain in some clinic in a cave with no service.’
Alice nodded. She wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t help worrying.
‘How’s the birthday girl today?’
Alice took a sip of her coffee. ‘Demanding! I made her pancakes with whipped cream and Nutella this morning.’
‘How many did she eat?’
‘Three.’
Kevin gasped. ‘Think of the calories.’
‘For goodness’ sake, it was a special occasion.’
‘It would take running a full marathon to burn that off.’
‘Don’t you dare mention calories to her. I don’t want my girls worrying about their weight – it’s dangerous.’
Kevin smoothed his fitted shirt. ‘I know, but you don’t want to be a fat teenager, believe me. The only kids who got bullied more than me at school were the fat ones.’
‘Jools has a lovely figure.’
Kevin paused. ‘Yes, she does, but teenagers can put on weight easily so I’m just saying she should be careful and lay off the Nutella pancakes.’
‘You’re just jealous. When was the last time you ate chocolate?’
‘My body is a temple and, besides, fat gays don’t get laid.’
Alice laughed. ‘I sincerely hope you’re going to have a slice of Jools’s birthday cake tonight. I made it with Holly last night. Chocolate sponge.’
‘I’ll have a tiny bit, but only because it’s Jools and I adore her. What present are you giving her by the way? Did you and Ben agree on the new iPhone?’
Alice nodded. ‘I was against it, as you know, but Ben really wanted to treat her so we got her one. I’m going to give it to her tonight. I wish Ben was here, though. He deserves to see her face when she opens it. She’s going to be thrilled.’
‘I’ll video it and we can send it to him,’ Kevin offered.
Alice knew that if Ben didn’t call tonight to wish his beloved daughter a happy birthday, something bad had definitely happened. She took a deep breath and crossed her fingers.
Alice and Holly lit the candles while Kevin distracted Jools. Then Alice turned out the lights and carried the cake to the table. Jools’s eyes lit up.
‘Ooh, chocolate sponge! My favourite! Thanks, Mum.’
She looked so beautiful, her face framed in the candlelight. Alice wanted to hug her but knew it would ruin the moment, so she just smiled. ‘You’re welcome, darling, and Holly deserves thanks too. She helped me.’
Jools looked across at her sister. ‘Thanks, Holly. You can have a big slice, not as big as mine, obviously, as I’m the birthday girl, but almost as big.’
‘Well, go on, then, make a wish,’ Kevin urged.
Jools closed her eyes, inhaled and then, as she was about to blow and make a wish, Alice’s phone rang.
‘OMG, it’s Daddy. I was just wishing he’d call and now he has!’ Jools rushed to the phone and picked it up. ‘Daddy? … Oh, sorry, I thought … Yes, she is, I’ll get her now.’ Jools handed the phone to Alice. ‘It’s someone called Jonathan Londis.’
Alice held the phone to her ear. ‘Hello?’
‘Hello, Mrs Gregory, it’s Jonathan Londis here, from the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. I’m calling you from Eritrea.’
‘Yes?’ Alice felt a cold chill down her back. Why was the FCO calling her? Something was wrong.
‘I’m afraid it’s about your husband, Dr Ben Gregory.’
‘What is it?’ Alice whispered, her voice catching.
‘The car he was travelling in was –’
‘In an accident?’ Alice interrupted. An accident was okay. An accident meant he was injured, but she’d help him recover. Jonathan Londis said nothing. The phone shook in Alice’s hand. ‘Is Ben all right? Tell me, is he all right?’ Fear gripped her throat. Was Ben seriously injured? Maybe he’d just broken his leg or had concussion or something. She had to hope for the best. She clung to hope.
‘Do you need me to come out and look after him?’ she asked.
‘I’m afraid it’s rather more serious than that.’
Alice’s whole body began to tremble. ‘What do you mean? What …’
‘I’m terribly sorry, Mrs Gregory, but the jeep your husband was travelling in hit a landmine.’
‘I don’t … I’m sorry, but what does … I …’ Alice stumbled over her words as her mind tried to push away the dark thoughts engulfing her.
Jonathan Londis cleared his throat. ‘I’m afraid it appears that your husband and his co-passenger, Declan Hayes, were killed instantly.’
‘Noooooo!’
Alice’s knees gave way. Jools screamed. Holly threw her arms around her mother as if to shield her from something that might come crashing out of the sky.
Although the girls didn’t speak a word to each other, from their mother’s scream, they understood. Their father wasn’t coming home, ever.
Part 2
* * *
LONDON AND ERITREA
Ben: ten hours earlier, Eritrea …
Ben woke up and jumped out of bed. He threw back the thick curtains and looked out at the blue sky. He felt filled with energy. This trip had been like a shot of adrenalin in the arm. He was his old self, full of vigour and optimism, ready to take on the world.
So far Declan had been a great travel companion and colleague. He was enthusiastic, lively and knew his stuff. Ben was confident that he would be an asset in theatre when they operated.
The consultation with the minister had gone well. Ben had explained the transverse colectomy procedure to him and his wife. He h
ad shown Negasi Kidane where he would make the cut in his abdomen to remove the middle part of the colon containing the tumour. He would also be taking out the lymph glands closest to the bowel, to check if any cancer cells had spread there, he said, then described how he would join the ends of the colon back together.
The minister seemed happy with the information and keen to get the operation over with. It was due to take place at nine o’clock on Saturday morning, which left today, Friday, free. Today Ben and Declan were going to a clinic outside Asmara, where Declan and John Lester had been on their last trip, to help train some local surgeons.
Ben was looking forward to it. Declan had organized a car and was going to drive. He said it was about an hour outside the city.
Ben looked at his watch. It was only eight. They weren’t due to leave until ten. He showered, then decided to go for a walk and grab breakfast at a café instead of in the hotel. He wanted to soak up some local atmosphere. He wandered down the palm-lined main street, Independence Avenue, watching the cafés setting up their tables and getting ready for the day ahead. He walked on to the old town square, where the imposing post-office building dominated everything. Ben’s guidebook told him that Asmara had been colonized by Italy at the end of the nineteenth century and remained so until the Second World War. He could see the signs of Italian influence everywhere.
Apart from the architecture, there were lots of old Fiats parked on the roads. But most people in Asmara seemed to cycle. According to Declan, some of the surgeons in Eritrea only earned two dollars a day. He said the surgeons were very well educated but too bookish and had very little clinical focus, which was why John Lester had decided to help train them.
Ben wandered around for a while, then went to find the Casa degli Italiani, which the minister’s wife had recommended. He walked through the imposing stone-pillared entrance onto a pretty terrace. Sitting there, sipping his coffee, he felt lighter than he had in ages.
He thought about Alice and the girls, doing the usual morning things at home, getting ready for school and work. He missed them, and feel guilty about Jools’s birthday, but he was still glad to be out of that routine for a few days, to be in a new place, having new experiences. Would he be able to hold on to his energy and positivity once he was back in London? He wasn’t sure. But things needed to change, he knew that now. He couldn’t go back to living that humdrum life. He would have to talk to Alice, explain to her how he was feeling, and between them they’d find a way to make their lives more meaningful and fulfilling. The girls were moving into new phases now, and it was time he and Alice did, too. He made himself a promise, sitting there in the sunshine, to try to be less distracted and spend more time at home when he got back, but also to have his own sense of purpose. If he could get Alice on-side, he knew they could have it all.
Ben glanced at his watch. Time to go. He paid the bill and headed back to the hotel. On his way he passed a jewellery shop. He glanced at the window and saw a gold necklace with the initial A on it. He decided to buy it for Alice. But when he went into the shop, he decided to buy three. Each necklace had an initial – A, J and H, one for each of the women in his life. The girls would be thrilled, and he hoped Alice would be too. He’d surprise them when he got home. Ben left the shop, delighted with his purchases.
Once back in the hotel, Ben tried to call home again, but his mobile still wouldn’t work. He was about to ring Alice from the hotel phone when Declan knocked on his door and said they needed to get going. It would be best to call later anyway, when the girls were home from school.
Ben put the necklaces on his bed and grabbed a small backpack with a digital camera, wallet, laptop, mobile phone and his passport. He followed Declan down to the car.
The vehicle Declan had sourced was a very old, very battered Fiat, which he proceeded to drive like a maniac.
‘Christ, where did you learn to drive?’ Ben asked, clinging to the ceiling grab handle.
Declan grinned. ‘My older brother taught me. He’s a total nutter – he’s written off four cars.’
‘That’s very reassuring,’ Ben said. ‘Don’t you have to do driving tests in Ireland?’
‘Technically, yes, but my uncle Tommy is one of the examiners, so I passed even though my three-point turn took about ten minutes and I knocked down a fella on a bike when I was coming out of the driving centre.’ Declan roared with laughter.
‘Perhaps I should drive?’ Ben suggested, as Declan swerved to avoid knocking down yet another innocent cyclist.
Declan shook his head. ‘Just relax. I’ll get you there safely. I’ve never crashed.’
‘Really?’ Ben was shocked.
Declan lit a cigarette as he narrowly avoided an oncoming car. ‘Well, not officially.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘It means I may have had a few bumps along the way, but not exactly owned up to them.’
‘You mean you crashed and drove away?’
‘In a way, yes.’
‘But that’s … completely … just … well, wrong.’ Ben was taken aback.
‘Keep your hair on, Ben. Where I grew up in Dublin rules weren’t always obeyed.’
‘What part of Dublin are you from? I’ve been there lots of times with my wife Alice – she grew up just outside the city.’
Declan flicked his cigarette out of the window. ‘I doubt you ever went to my neighbourhood. I grew up in Ballymun. Six kids, three-bedroom flat, single dad.’
‘What happened to your mother?’ Ben asked.
‘She fecked off with a Polish plumber and we never saw her again. My dad can’t hear Poland mentioned without flying into a mad rage. He was disgusted when the European Football Cup was held there. He even refused to watch the Irish team matches and he loves his football.’
‘Gosh, I’m sorry to hear that. Did you ever hear from your mother again?’
‘No. My sister Carol tracked her down when she was eighteen. She saved up for ages and we all gave her a few quid so she could fly to Poland. We told her she was mad, but she’s an only girl and she really missed having a mother. When she got to my mother’s house after travelling for thirteen hours, my mother opened the door, told her to feck off and slammed it shut in her face.’
‘Your poor sister!’
‘You don’t know our Carol. Instead of falling down crying, she got a big rock and flung it through the front window where my mother’s boyfriend was sitting watching telly. It nearly hit him too.’
Ben laughed. ‘What did your mother do?’
Declan lit another cigarette. ‘She came running out and shouted at Carol. But what she forgot was that Carol had sixteen years of pent-up anger and resentment rattling about inside her. So Carol walloped her across the face, told her she was a waste of space and left. The poor girl came back gutted, so we had a “funeral” to cheer her up. My brother Eddie made up a little coffin and we put our mother’s photos into it and burnt it in the kitchen sink. Then we drank a load of booze and said, “Good riddance to the old hag.” Carol felt better after that. Dad was thrilled that we all now knew what a complete cow our mother was.’
Ben was almost speechless. Declan’s family sounded completely insane and yet there was something very touching about the way they had rallied around their sister. ‘Did it help?’ he asked.
‘I think so. Carol hasn’t mentioned her since.’
‘How old were you when your mother left?’
‘Four.’
‘God, that’s young. It must have been hard.’
Declan shrugged. ‘I don’t remember her at all. You can’t miss what you don’t recall. I think it was worse for Eddie. He was nine so he did remember. He went a bit mental when he was a teenager – mitching off school and shop-lifting and a bit of drugs, but Dad sorted him out. Dad’s great. Raising five boys and a girl on your own with very little money isn’t easy, but he did a good job.’
‘He must be very proud of you,’ Ben said.
‘To be honest, he thinks it�
�s mad that I’ve had to study for so long and still earn so little. I keep telling him that one day I’ll be loaded. He’s proud of all of us for keeping on the straight and narrow. We’ve all turned out grand. I’m nothing special.’
‘John Lester rates you and he’s a tough judge.’
‘I enjoy it. I think growing up in a bad area actually helps. I don’t get stressed easily and pressure doesn’t bother me. When you grow up dodging drug-dealers and gangsters, surgery doesn’t seem so daunting.’
Ben clung to the door handle as Declan swerved to avoid a woman on a donkey. They were going up into the mountains now and the road was a lot rougher. The car jerked about as Declan tried to avoid rocks and potholes.
‘What about you? Where did you grow up?’ Declan asked.
‘London. My life has been very boring compared to yours. I’m an only child, went to a local school and then on to King’s College to study medicine.’
‘So you never really left London?’ Declan asked.
‘No, I didn’t. I’d planned to go to America to do a couple of years there, but then I met Alice, married her and had children.’
‘What have you got?’
‘Two girls.’
‘What age?’
‘Jools turned sixteen today and Holly is eleven.’
‘Teenage years!’
Ben chuckled. ‘To be honest, Jools has been like a teenager since she was about eight.’
‘Girls seem like a world of trouble. I hope I have boys – I know what to do with boys – but girls … They just wreck your head.’
Ben smiled. ‘True, but they’re also absolutely wonderful.’
‘I can see you’re smitten.’
‘I take it you’re not married yet.’
‘No. I’m keeping it casual for the moment. I need to focus on work. I did have one serious girlfriend, but when she introduced me to her parents it didn’t go too well. I wasn’t quite … What shall we say? Son-in-law material. They were very posh and they kept talking about point-to-points. I thought they were on about trains and that they were train-spotters or something, so I told them how me and my brother Jason used to stand on the end of the platform and moon at the carriages as the trains pulled out.’