The Way We Were Read online

  ‘My mum thinks it’s too short. My dad hasn’t seen it. He’d go mental if he did. He’s such a nerd – he thinks I should be wearing long skirts like those freaks who live in cults in America. You know, the ones where one man has, like, twenty wives and they all call each other “Sister”. So weird.’

  Ben coughed loudly. ‘Exactly how short is this dress, Jools?’

  Jools squealed and hung up. ‘For God’s sake, Daddy, you almost gave me a heart attack. How long have you been standing there?’

  ‘Long enough to know some guy called Ollie likes you, you’re getting together at Amelia’s party and you’re planning on wearing an obscenely short dress.’

  Jools blushed. ‘You shouldn’t eavesdrop. It’s rude.’

  ‘You will not be going anywhere in a dress that’s too short. You’re a beautiful girl, Jools, and you don’t need to show off all your flesh.’

  ‘Please stop talking. You’re so embarrassing.’

  ‘I’m serious. I know you look at me and think, Old Man, but I was once a teenager and I didn’t find the girl in the shortest dress the most attractive. It was the girl with the dress that actually covered her bottom and had the best smile that I went for.’

  ‘Mum has a nice smile, when she uses it,’ Jools said, doodling on her copybook.

  ‘Mum has a fantastic smile. It lights up a room.’

  Jools yawned, clearly bored with the conversation. Ben clapped his hands. ‘Right, what have you got left to do?’

  ‘I’m supposed to learn the first verse of this boring poem.’ Jools handed Ben her book and pointed.

  ‘Ah, “The Lady of Shalott” by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. I remember this one. Right, off you go.’

  Jools’s brow knitted in concentration. ‘ “On each side of the river lies a field of long … grass”?’

  ‘No, it’s “On either side the river lie Long fields of barley and of rye, That clothe the wold and meet the sky.” ’

  ‘Oh, yeah. Okay. “On each side” –’

  ‘No, Jools, it’s “On either side”.’

  ‘Okay. “On either side of the river lies fields of … of … ” ’

  ‘ “Long fields of barley and of rye”.’

  ‘ “Long fields of barely any rye”.’

  ‘No, Jools, it’s not “barely”, it’s “barley”.’

  She shrugged. ‘It’s the same.’

  ‘No, it isn’t. Barley is a grain and “barely” means “scarcely”.’

  ‘Fine, whatever.’

  ‘Start from the beginning.’ Ben glanced down at the poem. There were nine lines to learn. This was going to take a while.

  ‘ “On each side of the river lies a field of barley and rye.” ’

  ‘You’re nearly there.’ Ben was determined to be positive. ‘You just need to add in a few words – “On either side the river lie Long fields of barley and of rye …” ’

  ‘That’s what I said.’

  ‘Not exactly. Okay, let’s move on to the next line. We can get a rhythm going. ‘ “That clothe the wold and meet the sky”.’

  ‘That closes the world and met the sky.’

  ‘ “Clothe”.’

  ‘Oh, “close”.’

  ‘No, the word is “clothe”.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘ “Clothe”.’

  ‘What does that even mean? Hello, it’s just a made-up word.’

  ‘No, Jools, it isn’t. It means “to dress”.’

  ‘Dress the world? Is he a designer? Was he like Victoria Beckham back in the old days?’

  ‘No. He was a poet. It’s an expression.’

  ‘Oh.’ Jools looked disappointed. ‘For a nano-second I thought he might actually be interesting.’

  ‘He’s one of the most famous poets in the history of the world.’

  ‘Yeah, right. Well, he doesn’t do it for me. This poem sucks.’

  Ben took a deep breath. ‘Come on, Jools, concentrate. You need to focus so you can learn the poem and not be here all night.’

  ‘You sound just like Mum.’

  ‘Well, she’s right, you do need to concentrate a bit harder. Okay, now don’t get frustrated, we’ll take it nice and slowly. Let’s do the first three lines again.’

  Thirty minutes later, they had got to line four. As Jools made yet another mistake, Ben lost it.

  ‘For God’s sake, Jools, will you please focus! It’s not that hard. We’re not even halfway through and you’ve got it wrong every single time.’

  ‘It’s not easy for me. I’m not bloody Holly with the freaky brain.’

  ‘It’s one verse of a poem, Jools! It’s not a lot to remember and if you stopped looking around and getting up to fetch drinks and snacks, you might actually memorize it properly. This has nothing to do with your ability to learn and everything to do with your lack of focus. Now we are going to sit here until you memorize it, so I strongly recommend that you concentrate.’

  ‘You’re a tryant.’

  ‘I think you mean “tyrant”.’

  ‘Whatever.’

  Ben ended up bribing Jools. He told her that if she memorized the poem, he’d give her ten pounds. That made her concentrate and, after a further torturous twenty minutes, she kind of knew it. She tripped up here and there, but Ben had reached his limit. They called it a night, and when Jools was in her bedroom, ten pounds richer, Ben went up to Alice.

  He handed his wife a glass of wine and took a large gulp from his own. Alice smirked at him. ‘Did you have fun?’

  Ben sat beside her on the bed and groaned. ‘Christ, she’s hard work. I’d forgotten how bad she is.’

  Alice raised an eyebrow. Ben held up his hands. ‘I know, I’m sorry. I haven’t helped her with her homework in a while and I’d genuinely forgotten what torture it is.’

  ‘And exactly how “patient” were you?’

  ‘I started off well, and then I lost my temper. You’re a saint for doing that every night. Is it just me or is she getting worse?’

  ‘The homework is getting more difficult and she’s struggling to keep up.’

  ‘Is she just … stupid?’ Ben asked.

  ‘No. She isn’t interested. If you ask Jools to recite passages from the Twilight movies, she can do it, no problem. She just doesn’t apply herself to schoolwork.’

  ‘What are we going to do?’

  ‘Keep helping her and encouraging her and –’

  ‘Bribing her.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I’m ashamed to say I bribed her.’

  ‘Ben!’

  ‘Alice, she was torturing me and poor Tennyson, who is definitely turning in his grave by the way. So I told her I’d give her a tenner if she’d just learn the bloody verse.’

  ‘Did it work?’

  ‘Not exactly. She’s still reciting it with missing bits, but I couldn’t listen to another word of it. She’s ruined Tennyson for me for life.’

  Alice began to laugh, such a happy, infectious sound. Ben loved it. He joined in, enjoying the release from his week’s worries and having fun with his wife.

  Holly

  Mummy and Jools are having a big fight because Jools lied about reading Little Women. Mummy gave it to her nineteen days ago and she never got past the first chapter. But she pretended she’d read it when she’d just watched the movie on her iPad. When Mummy asked her about the book, Jools said she thought it boring with a stupid end – Jo would never have gone off with Gabriel Byrne because he was way too old.

  Mummy said that Jools was a liar for pretending she’d read the book. She said there was no one in the book called Gabriel Byrne. She said that Gabriel Byrne is a famous Irish actor.

  Jools shouted that Mummy was mean and always trying to force her to be clever. She said she was sick of it and that Mummy should just leave her alone. Then she said something really mean and I saw Mummy’s face go all red. Jools said that Gabriel Byrne wasn’t famous at all, he was just a stupid old Irishman with a stupid accent like Mummy’s. She said she
wished Mummy had a normal voice and didn’t pronounce words all wrong because it was embarrassing.

  I stopped breathing for eight seconds because I was worried Mummy was going to be angry, but she actually just looked really sad. She said she was sorry that Jools found her so embarrassing and then she went upstairs.

  Jools pretended she didn’t care, but I knew she felt bad because she set the table for dinner, which she never does.

  I went up to Mummy’s bedroom. She was sitting on her bed doing deep breathing. I went up and gave her a hug. I told her I liked the way she talks. I said that I think her accent is lovely. It’s very sing-songy.

  Mummy hugged me very tight – a bit too tight. I counted to twenty and then I pulled away because I was having trouble breathing.

  Alice

  Holly came into the kitchen and sat up at the counter. ‘Mummy, I loved it.’

  ‘What?’ Alice put her phone down.

  ‘Little Women. I read it and I adored it.’

  Alice leant over and kissed her. ‘You really are a wonder. I can’t believe you’ve read it so quickly.’

  Alice often wondered where Holly had come from. She and Ben were smart, but Holly was unique. Her mind never stopped working. She had been born a month premature and was still small for her age, but she was streets ahead of the other eleven-year-olds in her year. She was like a sponge that soaked up everything around her.

  Alice worried that Holly didn’t have enough fun. She was always reading or working things out in her mind. She wasn’t very sporty, although she always tried her best, and she didn’t seem interested in making jewellery, experimenting with make-up or listening to music, like Jools and her friends had when they were eleven.

  Holly’s pale blue eyes looked up at Alice. While Jools was sallow-skinned, like Ben, and had his thick dark hair and beautiful big brown eyes, Holly had Alice’s strawberry blonde hair and light eyes, although Holly’s eyes were so pale they were almost translucent. People often said she reminded them of the little girl in the movie Atonement.

  Holly tapped Alice’s arm. ‘Mummy, did you know there are four hundred and forty-nine pages in the book. In chapter one there are …’

  Alice knew that Holly was about to break the book down into chapter-by-chapter page counts, and while she was constantly astounded by her daughter’s mind, sometimes Holly needed to be nudged in a different direction. The chapter page count would turn into a page word count and it could go on for hours. When she was five Holly had counted to a thousand – slowly – on the six-hour drive from London to Holyhead. Ben had described it as the ultimate form of torture. Thankfully, Jools had had her headphones on during the drive, which was the only reason Holly had survived in one piece.

  ‘So, who was your favourite character?’ Alice asked.

  Holly stopped focusing on the word count. Pushing her long hair out of her eyes, she said, ‘I think Jo is just wonderful. And Beth is so kind and sweet, but I was very sad when Amy stole Laurie away.’

  ‘I totally agree. I always thought Jo and Laurie should have ended up together.’

  ‘Professor Bhaer was nice and kind, but Laurie was fun and he was her best friend,’ Holly said.

  ‘And he was rich, young and fit.’ Jools shuffled in. Then, raising her hands, she said, ‘I know I didn’t read it, but I do know the story.’

  Alice took some mushrooms out of the fridge and began to chop them. ‘Relationships are not about money or looks. They’re about love, loyalty and respect.’

  ‘And friendship, Mummy – you always say that Daddy’s your best friend,’ Holly reminded her.

  ‘You’re right, darling, he is.’

  ‘Okay, fine, but being rich and handsome are not bad things either,’ Jools said.

  ‘No, but kindness and decency are much more important,’ Alice replied. Jools was obsessed with fame and celebrity to an extent that sometimes worried Alice. She clearly wasn’t going to thrive in academia, but Alice was concerned that she thought celebrity was some kind of a viable career.

  ‘I love Marmee, too. She’s so wise and gentle,’ Holly gushed.

  ‘And she never shouts,’ Jools said, with a smirk, as she popped a grape into her mouth.

  ‘That’s because she has four daughters who do what they’re told and don’t give her cheek. Besides, I don’t shout a lot.’

  ‘Holly? Back me up! Does Mummy shout a lot?’

  Holly’s eyes grew wide. ‘It depends on the situation.’

  ‘Don’t put Holly on the spot. I know I shout sometimes, but usually with good reason. Now, can you help me tidy up? David and Pippa are coming for dinner. They’ll be here in half an hour and the place is a mess.’

  ‘Where’s Daddy?’ Jools asked.

  Alice gritted her teeth. ‘Stuck in work yet again. Let’s just hope he actually makes it in time to have dinner with the friends he invited over.’

  ‘Mum, you need to take a deep breath,’ Jools said. ‘Daddy can’t help being stuck at work. He’s probably saving a life or something.’

  Or just not bothering to come home and help, Alice thought darkly.

  ‘We’ll help you, Mummy,’ Holly said, tidying up the books that were strewn all over the table.

  ‘Thanks, girls – what would I do without you?’

  Within half an hour the kitchen was tidy, candles were lit and dinner was cooking in the oven.

  Ben strolled in at nine.

  ‘Nice of you to turn up,’ Alice snapped.

  ‘Oh, God, don’t start nagging again.’

  ‘Don’t invite your friends for dinner if you’re not even going to be here!’ Alice hissed.

  ‘I’m here now and they haven’t arrived,’ Ben said, as the doorbell rang.

  Alice glared at him and went to check on the food.

  David and Pippa arrived full of good cheer, laden with wine and chocolates.

  While Ben and David had a drink in the lounge and chatted to the girls, Pippa and Alice had a glass of wine in the kitchen.

  ‘So, how are things? I haven’t seen you for about six months,’ Pippa said.

  ‘Life is just so bloody busy all the time – I never seem to catch up with anyone,’ Alice replied. It was true: she never saw her friends from medical school. The surgery, the girls and Ben took up all of her time.

  ‘Oh, darling, I don’t know how you do it.’ Pippa sipped her wine. ‘I barely have time to fit everything in and I don’t work and William is away at school.’

  Alice loved Pippa. Her life was so privileged and different from Alice’s yet they got on really well. Pippa was kind, sweet and generous to a fault. Both she and David were from landed gentry. David’s parents owned half of Berkshire and Pippa’s half of Kent. They were a perfect match.

  They lived in a huge house in Holland Park. When Alice was with them, she felt as if she was in an episode of Downton Abbey. They actually had a housekeeper and a driver, and always had cocktails at seven, before dinner. Alice loved going there – it was always so civilized and calm, not to mention luxurious and elegant.

  ‘Hold on a minute!’ Alice gasped. ‘Your bracelet nearly took my eye out. Is it new?’

  Pippa wrinkled her nose. ‘It’s the guilt bracelet. David bought it for me last year, after his liaison with that nurse. I don’t like wearing it – it’s terribly showy – but David gets offended if I don’t. Honestly, men are such children.’

  Alice squeezed Pippa’s hand. ‘I think it’s wonderful that you guys managed to work it out. I was relieved as well as glad because we get to keep you both as friends.’

  Pippa smiled. ‘It hasn’t been easy, but I’m glad too. I do love him, you know, and he truly is sorry. He’s much nicer to me now than before. I think it was a mid-life crisis, to be honest. He felt his youth slipping away and wanted one last fling. Mind you, if it happens again I’ve told David that Daddy has the best lawyer lined up for me, a total Rottweiler. That frightened him a bit, I can tell you.’

  ‘Serves him right!’ Alice said
. ‘To be honest,’ she said, lowering her voice, ‘I think Ben’s having some kind of mid-life thing as well.’

  ‘With a nurse?’ Pippa was visibly shocked.

  ‘No – at least, I don’t think so.’

  ‘Thank goodness, although I can’t imagine Ben being unfaithful to you.’

  ‘Never say never.’

  ‘That’s true – I never thought David would do it to me.’ Pippa looked down at her bracelet. Glancing up, she asked, ‘Are you having sex?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Regular sex?’

  ‘Yes.’ Alice felt a bit awkward discussing it with Pippa. It wasn’t a usual topic of conversation for them.

  ‘Oh, good. Sorry, but I had to ask. My counsellor said part of our problem was that we weren’t having sex. I just went off it a bit, darling, but I’m making more of an effort now and it’s much better.’

  ‘I honestly don’t think Ben’s having an affair. It’s more of a restlessness with life. He seems to be unfulfilled in work. It’s scaring me a bit, where it might lead.’

  ‘Don’t worry. All men have a wobble at this age. Ben adores you. I always say to David that you have such a good marriage. It’s balanced because you both have jobs, you both earn money and you make each other laugh. I’m sure this is just a little distraction that he’ll get over soon.’

  ‘I hope so,’ Alice said, as she lifted the beef bourguignon out of the oven.

  Dinner was lovely. They drank too much wine and told funny stories of medical-school days and holidays, children and work. Alice felt the red wine relaxing her. She watched Ben as he told an amusing anecdote about their honeymoon. His eyes twinkled in the candlelight and she thought how handsome he was.

  He caught her eye and winked at her. Alice’s stomach fluttered. He still had it. He could still make her want to rip his clothes off – especially after a few glasses of wine.

  As they waved David and Pippa off, Ben pinched her bum. He closed the door and spun her towards him. ‘You look very hot tonight, Dr Gregory.’

  Alice giggled. ‘You look pretty sexy yourself, Doctor. Can I be examined, please?’

  ‘I’ll give you the full once-over.’

  Laughing, Ben pulled Alice into the lounge and they fell onto the couch, kissing and tugging each other’s clothes off. Their bodies, so used to each other, came together in a familiar dance. As they lay side by side, half dressed in the moonlight, fingers loosely entwined, Alice knew that everything would be all right.