Seven Letters Page 2

  Sarah placed her hand protectively on her stomach. ‘Thanks, Mia, you’re a star.’

  ‘The only thing you need to worry about is looking after yourself and that little miracle inside you.’

  Sarah smiled. The little thing inside her did feel like a miracle. It had been a long, bumpy road, but so worth it. ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you, Mia.’

  ‘Thank God you were sober tonight. Imagine if you’d been drunk when you heard them.’ Mia giggled. ‘You’d probably have punched their lights out.’

  Sarah laughed. ‘Well, that’s the last mums’ night out I’ll be going to, I can tell you. I don’t need that drama in my life.’

  ‘At least it’ll be something different to write in your diary.’

  ‘It’ll certainly make a change from my fairly boring entries recently.’ Sarah stifled a yawn. ‘Now that the adrenalin has died down, I feel exhausted.’

  Mia nodded. ‘Go home and get some rest. For the moment, it’s probably best to stick to nights in with herbal tea and Netflix.’

  Sarah groaned as she pulled on her coat. ‘I’ll have to go to the school gate in a wig and dark glasses.’

  ‘Hold your head high,’ Mia said, as she walked her sister to the front door. ‘You aren’t the one in the wrong.’

  Sarah kissed her. ‘Night, Mia, and thanks.’

  ‘Sleep well.’

  As Sarah drove home, she thought about Izzy, vowing to keep a close eye on her schoolwork and encourage her. She’d had her reservations about starting her in school when she was only four, and she often found herself wishing she’d stuck to her guns. But Adam had been so certain that an early start was right for Izzy. Her birthday was in June, which meant she started in junior infants when she was only four years and two months. Some of the other kids had turned five that summer, which gave them a big advantage, Sarah reckoned. Adam had argued and argued, insisting that Izzy was clever enough, ‘the next Sheryl Sandberg’ apparently, and that leaving school at almost nineteen was ridiculous. Sarah had argued, too, but he was so sure that she’d ended up giving in and enrolling Izzy. It was her fault, really, if it affected Izzy in the long run, and she hated herself for that.

  She tried to push away the dark thoughts and focus on what Mia had said. She was right: she shouldn’t let those nasty women get into her head. She took a few deep breaths, reminding herself that Izzy was happy to go to school and ran out smiling each day. There was no evidence of her being under pressure. Thank God for Mia, who had always been her go-to person. Five years older, Mia had always seemed to know what to do and say. While Mia had been really close to their mum, it was to Mia that Sarah had always gone for advice or help. She was her rock. A rock that drove her nuts at times, but her rock, nonetheless.

  2

  Mia opened the door to her daughter’s bedroom and stepped over the piles of clothes, the discarded shoes, the guitar lying on its side, the scattered schoolbooks and the damp towel. Riley was buried under her duvet, like a hibernating animal. Only a few strands of her long black hair were visible.

  Mia tried to suppress her irritation at the state of the bedroom and not start the day with yet another argument. She gently shook the mound on the bed. ‘It’s seven thirty, Riley. Come on, up you get.’

  Riley didn’t budge. Mia could hear her deep inhalations. How was it that teenagers never wanted to go to bed and then never wanted to get up? Mia shook her a little harder. Nothing. She put both hands on the duvet and rocked the body underneath.

  The top of the duvet snapped back. ‘For God’s sake, you don’t have to be so rough.’

  ‘I tried to … Never mind. Just get up now or we’ll be late for school.’

  Riley pulled the duvet back over her head and groaned.

  Mia tried not to, but she couldn’t help herself. ‘And will you please clean up this mess?’

  ‘It’s a pigsty in here,’ Riley mimicked her mother’s voice.

  ‘Well, it is, Riley, seriously.’

  ‘It’s the middle of the night. Stop nagging.’

  Mia left the room before she snapped at her daughter. All they did was argue these days – morning, noon and night. It was exhausting. Her friends said their teenagers had come out of the really moody stage at about sixteen. Only three months to go …

  When Mia reached the kitchen, Johnny was sitting at the table sipping coffee, bent over his iPad, reading the news. ‘Is she up?’ he asked.

  ‘Nope, but she’s awake, so that’s something.’

  Mia poured herself a coffee from the pot on the table. ‘Remember the days when you’d wake her and her face lit up with joy to see you?’

  ‘Yep,’ Johnny said.

  ‘I wish I’d cherished them more.’ She sighed.

  Johnny waved his hand. ‘Ah, it’s only hormones. She’ll grow out of it. Give her some space.’

  Mia gripped her cup. That was Johnny’s favourite line, ‘Give her some space’; the other was ‘Leave her be.’ But if you left a teenager ‘be’, and didn’t set boundaries and guidelines, they’d go wild. The rude way Riley spoke to Mia was bad enough. There was no way she was going to give her space to get drunk or take drugs.

  Johnny had grown up with five brothers, and his parents had basically let them do whatever they wanted. They’d all turned out OK. Well, except for Stephen, who was ‘fond of the drink’, a.k.a. a raging alcoholic. Johnny reckoned it was a good way to grow up, free and unrestricted.

  Mia’s parents had been very strict, especially her mum, who always knew where she and Sarah were, who they were with and what they were up to. True, sometimes it had been a bit much, but now Mia respected her mother’s concern.

  But Mia didn’t want to be the ‘bad cop’ all the time with Riley. She was always the one chastising and disciplining. Sometimes she wished Johnny would step in and take the reins a bit more. She was the disciplinarian all day in school. As deputy head she had to deal with all the kids who got into trouble. She wanted to come home and take her foot off the pedal. But, no.

  Johnny got to be Fun Dad, the parent who joked around and made Riley laugh. But it was Mia who had to keep on her back to study, have better manners, eat vegetables and on and on. She’d love to come home, kick off her shoes and ignore it if Riley was flaked out in front of the TV instead of doing her homework. Or not care if Riley never ate any vegetables or fruit. She’d love to ignore Riley’s rudeness when she was in one of her many teenage moods, but she couldn’t. Johnny kept saying, ‘She’ll grow out of it,’ but in the meantime Mia wasn’t going to let her become a monosyllabic, bad-mannered person.

  She missed the old days when she’d been a lot more carefree, unburdened by responsibility and being the only breadwinner. She missed drinking too much wine and having spontaneous sex on the couch with Johnny. She missed laughing. Mia couldn’t remember the last time she’d belly-laughed. She was always worried about money. She had a permanent knot in her stomach. When did life get so tough? Where did all the fun go?

  She looked at Johnny. She’d like to talk to him about it, to ask him to step up more with discipline and getting Riley to study, but she couldn’t nag her husband now. She needed to build up his confidence. He’d lost his job five months ago and she knew it upset him deeply that he wasn’t providing for them.

  ‘So, any meetings lined up?’ she asked, trying to keep her voice casual.

  Johnny swiped his finger across the iPad. ‘No, but I’ve one or two people to contact.’

  Mia said nothing. Since the Daily Business Post had shut down, there seemed to be no movement in the industry. Newspapers seemed to be the past. What was the future for her forty-one-year-old journalist husband?

  It was almost impossible to survive on her income alone. She’d accepted the role of deputy head, on top of her teaching job, last year because she’d wanted to earn more to pay for maths tutoring for Riley this year. But now … Well, now there was no extra money for anything. She felt so hemmed in by her work, so trapped in the daily grind,
but hers was the only pay packet in the house so she had zero choice in the matter. Every month that passed without Johnny finding a job she felt as if a noose was tightening around her neck, threatening to overwhelm her.

  She crossed the fingers of her left hand under the table, like so many of her young pupils did. It was childish, but in a small way calming.

  Riley shuffled in, skirt rolled up to mid-thigh, hair tied up in a messy bun. Mia could see her daughter had put make-up on to hide the smattering of spots that had appeared on her cheeks a few weeks ago. They weren’t half as bad as some of her poor friends had, but she was very conscious of them.

  ‘There she is, the light of my life.’ Johnny grinned at her.

  Riley rolled her eyes, but her lips twitched.

  Johnny reached over and laid a hand on her arm. ‘Ah, hang on now, I think I saw a smile, did I? No, couldn’t be, not this early.’

  ‘Go away, Dad.’ Riley pushed off his hand gently, but she was half smiling.

  ‘What’ll you have? Eggs? Bacon? French toast?’

  Since losing his job, Johnny had taken to cooking with gusto. Mia reckoned it helped him fill the long hours and she was delighted to hand over the job to him. It was the one positive thing to come out of the rotten episode.

  ‘Black coffee,’ Riley said.

  ‘You have to eat something. You can’t sit through school on an empty stomach, love,’ Mia said. She’d heard from the head of the senior school that some of the girls in Riley’s year were teetering on the edge of eating disorders. Last year’s obsession had been self-harm. What next?

  ‘I’m not hungry. The coffee will keep me going. Stop fussing all the time.’

  Johnny waved a spatula at his daughter. ‘Here, I’ll throw an egg on and you might be tempted.’

  Five minutes later, Riley was tucking into a poached egg and brown bread. Johnny was so much better with her. Mia knew she needed to try a lighter approach, but banter with Riley didn’t come naturally to her. It sounded fake.

  She glanced at her watch. ‘OK, we have to go. I promised Sarah I’d pick Izzy up on the way. She has an appointment with her obstetrician for her twelve-week scan.’

  Riley got up and went upstairs to get her schoolbag.

  ‘Do you think she’ll find out the sex?’ Johnny asked.

  ‘They can’t always be sure this early in the pregnancy, but I think she’s going to ask if they can tell on the scan or not.’

  ‘I know one man who’d be very happy to have a son.’ Johnny put the saucepan in the sink.

  ‘Yes, Adam would definitely love a mirror image of himself.’ Mia grinned.

  ‘Ah, sure, what man wouldn’t?’

  Mia bit her lip.

  ‘I didn’t mean me, Mia. You know I’m happy with Riley. She’s our miracle and I know how lucky we are to have her. But do you mind Sarah having another?’

  Mia walked over and kissed her husband. ‘No, and don’t go bringing that up. Riley is enough. I have no regrets and don’t think I ever do.’

  Johnny held her close. ‘Thanks.’

  Izzy sang ‘Let It Go’ for the zillionth time as Sarah plaited her hair. Her headache was throbbing but, still, the sound of her little girl singing made her smile.

  ‘Will you tie the plaits back with this bow, Mummy?’ Izzy asked.

  ‘Of course.’ Sarah did so and smiled as her seven-year-old swirled around, trying to get a good view of the back of her head in the mirror on her wardrobe door.

  The room was a princess parlour. Sarah knew she’d gone a bit overboard, but she was a girly girl and so was Izzy. The carpet was pink, the curtains were pink, the bedspread was white with pink hearts on it. The lamp beside her bed was pink and her desk chair was also pink. Sarah had chosen different shades, so it wasn’t a complete pink onslaught.

  ‘I love my hair.’ Izzy threw her arms around her mother’s waist. ‘Am I squishing the baby?’ she asked.

  ‘No, sweetheart, not at all. No matter how big my tummy gets, I want you to give me your amazing hugs.’ Sarah stood up and began to tidy up the hair bobbins and clips, putting them back into the glass box on Izzy’s desk. Keeping her voice breezy, she asked, ‘Izzy, are you finding school OK? Is maths getting too hard for you?’

  ‘Not hard, just boring. I only got three wrong in the test yesterday. I got seven right.’

  ‘So you’re not struggling to follow any of the work?’

  Izzy admired her plaits in the mirror. ‘No. Why?’ She suddenly looked anxious. ‘Did Miss Dixon say something?’

  ‘No, sweetie, she didn’t. I just wanted to check everything was all right.’ Sarah kissed her daughter’s button nose. ‘But if you ever find anything difficult just tell me.’

  ‘OK, Mummy.’

  Sarah folded Izzy’s unicorn pyjamas and placed them under her pillow. ‘Are Rebecca and Mya being nice to you?’ It had been a week since the ‘incident’ and nothing had been said at school, but Sarah wanted to make sure Izzy wasn’t having any trouble with the witches’ daughters.

  ‘Why do you keep asking about them?’ Izzy rolled her eyes. ‘I told you already I don’t play with them. They just read books at breaktime, which is sooooo boring.’

  ‘That’s fine. I just want to make sure everyone is being nice to everyone else. And if anyone is ever mean to you –’

  ‘Tell me straight away,’ Izzy imitated Sarah’s voice. ‘I know, Mummy, you’ve told me lots of times. But no one is being mean to me. Everyone is nice to everyone. Well, except Max and Ben who fight all the time, but we just ignore them. Boys can be so silly.’

  Sarah laughed. ‘Good. I promise I won’t ask again for at least a day.’

  They headed downstairs. Adam was standing in the hall, dressed in a suit, his car keys in his hand.

  Izzy twirled. Adam looked to his wife for guidance.

  ‘Hair,’ she mouthed.

  ‘Wow, Izzy, your hair looks amazing!’ he exclaimed.

  ‘Thanks. Mummy helped me.’

  ‘Right, gotta go.’ Adam headed towards the door.

  ‘Daddy!’ Izzy shouted. ‘You never kissed me goodbye and you didn’t kiss me goodnight either.’

  Adam turned back. ‘Sorry, Sweet-pea. I had to work late last night.’

  ‘You’re always working late,’ Izzy complained.

  Adam picked up his disgruntled daughter and swung her high in the air, covering her face with kisses.

  ‘Stop, Daddy!’ she squealed. ‘Too much kissing.’

  He put her down. ‘You can never have too many kisses, can you, Sarah?’

  Sarah shook her head. ‘Nope.’

  Adam kissed her and winked at Izzy. ‘I’ll see you ladies later.’

  ‘Bye. Good luck with the meeting today. Don’t be late for the scan,’ Sarah reminded him.

  Adam smiled. ‘I should make it in time. I’ve a good feeling we’ll get this contract, and if we do, I’m booking us a fancy holiday this summer.’

  ‘Make it early June so I’m not hugely pregnant in my bikini.’

  ‘You’re gorgeous pregnant,’ he said, kissing her again.

  ‘Enough kissing. Go to work, Daddy.’ Izzy pushed him out of the door.

  Sarah packed Izzy’s lunchbox while her daughter sat at the counter, chatting to her.

  ‘Not carrots again, Mummy,’ Izzy complained.

  ‘They’re healthy and good for you and will make your eyes shine.’

  ‘My eyes are shiny. You just can’t see them through my stinky glasses.’

  Sarah looked into her daughter’s blue eyes and smiled. ‘They’re beautiful, and they shine through the glasses, which are cute and cool.’

  Izzy wrinkled her nose. ‘I hate them.’

  Sarah leaned forward to look at her daughter. ‘I know you do, sweetie, but you’ll get used to them and you do admit they help you see better – and you are a gorgeous girl with them.’

  ‘I’m not wearing them on my Communion Day. I don’t care if I can’t see perfectly.’

&nb
sp; ‘That’s a deal. You can take them off for that special day.’

  Izzy’s frown faded. ‘I love my dress so much, Mummy.’

  ‘Me too. You look like an angel in it.’

  Izzy clapped her hands together. ‘Only a few weeks to go!’

  The bell rang as Sarah packed a water bottle into her daughter’s lunchbox. Izzy clambered down from the stool and ran to open the door. Mia was standing on the step.

  ‘Morning, sunshine. Ready to go?’ Mia asked her niece.

  ‘Yes. Is Riley in the car?’

  ‘Yes, she is and she’s grumpy, as usual.’ Mia came into the kitchen followed by Izzy, who grabbed her schoolbag and lunchbox, gave her mother a quick kiss and ran to the car.

  ‘She’s obsessed with Riley,’ Sarah said.

  ‘God love her, she’ll get no joy from her this morning. Riley’s in a foul mood.’

  ‘Quick coffee?’ Sarah asked.

  ‘No time.’

  ‘You look nice. I love that colour on you,’ Sarah said.

  Mia was clearly surprised. Sarah knew her sister wasn’t feeling good about herself, these days.

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘Green has always been your colour. It matches your eyes.’ Sarah grinned at her sister.

  ‘Pity about the big saggy bags underneath.’ Mia sighed.

  ‘Stop that! You’re gorgeous. Thanks for taking Izzy.’

  ‘I can take her every day. After all, we’re going to the same place.’

  ‘I know, but I like taking her to school. Well, I used to, but now I have to avoid certain mothers.’

  ‘Have you seen them?’

  ‘Yes, but only from a distance. We all ignored each other.’

  ‘Did any of the other mums mention it?’ Mia asked.

  ‘Harry’s mum told me she’d heard there was an altercation in the Ladies.’

  ‘What did you say?’ Mia asked.

  ‘I said I’d heard some mums being mean about Izzy so I defended her. I didn’t name names.’